the-absolute-funniest-posts:

“My perfect date night? I pick you up in my Kia Sorento. You get in. There’s candles in the car. You go, “Is that dangerous?” and I go, “Yes, but I like danger”. We go to your favorite restaurant. We have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car is on fire. You go, “Aziz, your car is on fire, aren’t you upset?” I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, “No, I knew this was going to happen.” And then I kiss you in front of my burning car.”

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Aziz Ansari

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